I would like....

One day I would like to wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day.

One day I would like to wake up and not be in pain.

I would like to not have to think of breakfast in terms of eating enough to take painkillers.

I would like energy. Not for anything specific, just energy so I don’t feel like I’m walking through treacle.

I would like to run, jump and dance about with my kids.

I would like to hold down a job to relieve the financial pressure on my husband.

I would like to eat a whole massive chocolate cake full of butter, wheat and sugar not have it tainted by worry of how I’ll feel tomorrow.

I would like a caffeinated coffee just because I want one.

I would like to be well enough to give my exhausted husband a day off. He’s exhausted because he picks up all the slack I leave in my wake.

I’d like to look at my watch and not count the hours until my next painkiller.

I would like to loose weight.

I’d like to not have a swollen belly because of my illness.

I’d like to not rely on antidepressants so I can look on the bright side.

I’d like a lazy sofa and crochet day because I want one, not because it’s all I can manage.

I’d like to be able to hoover!

I’d like to wear jeans.

I’d like to live my life.

I’d like to be able to sing and it not hurt.

I’d like a hug.

I’d like a day where I don’t feel like a burden.

I’d like to jump out of bed at 6am to start my day with yoga and meditation, but most days I can’t move at 6am.

I’d like some flowers.

I’d like my sister to have all this good stuff too. Two close sisters, 500 miles apart, similar issues, two very different illnesses.

This is for all those endo warriors out there and all the other ‘spoonies’ dealing with fibromyalgia, CFS and many, many more chronic conditions. 

Love to you my brothers and sisters. We know we’re not dying although some days we feel 20 years older than we are. I know I’m lucky enough to have kids as so many with endometriosis aren’t able. There are good things in my life, lots of good things. But it’s a fight to see them daily. That’s the fight we all fight - with our bodies and our minds. We fight ourselves and our own bodies, bodies that have done nothing to hurt us out of spite. 

Warriors unite and rise up.

Warriors see the sunshine through the clouds.

Warriors see the good.

Warriors see the light in me and I’ll see the light in you.

Warriors unite and rise up.