Sunshine and rosé

Sometimes you just need to breathe. Two weeks ago now my husband, for all his stress and worries, told me I was getting a day off. He booked out today as holiday and here I am, on my own, not having to worry about anybody else (though do we ever stop worrying about our families? My day told me very much “no” this week.) and generally doing what I want. So I booked an appointment to sort out my Chewbacca length of leg and armpit hair and thought about the various shops, gardens and cafes I’d visit along the way, just little old me.

Now a couple of times this week I’ve thought my day off might be in danger. I was considering cancelling everything and just having a normal day. You may remember from last week that husband-mine was having a very uncertain time at work. Well, I can reveal a little more though nothing too juicy can go into print just yet I’m afraid. The long and the short of it is that many people have been put onto furlough.  My husband himself is safe in his job for now but he told me that he can’t work out the rhyme or reason as to why who is furloughed and who is fine and is (frankly) confused by some of the decisions. He’s now trying to work out how to do his job with so many colleagues gone. Not everyone is on furlough, only the permanent employees. A lot of contractors have been let go and many people are being sent to different ares in the mother company. Basically it’s like thousands of stones, each one representing a worker, have been thrown up in the air with only the ‘higher ups’ being given the nets and only if you’re caught can you stay. There have been tears, not just at home but many in hubby’s workplace. Tears of stress, of relief, of anxiety, of guilt, of confusions and generally incredibly high emotions. A huge amount of our lives, and many of the other expat community lives, are built around that company. We came here because of them, as did several hundred others. We’ve found friends because of them and feel happy because of a lot of them. And whilst I’ve found friends outside of this company I wouldn’t have met these people or had this experience had we not lived here. The kids wouldn’t be at their current schools. I would still have been longing to visit Japan and now I’m getting a better view of it than ever. Am I ready for that to end? No way. And my husband loves his job here. I’ve not seen him so happy in a job for a very long time. He’s getting the respect and the pay he deserves. So now it comes down to if he will still be happy with the company being so different. Time will tell on that one.

On top of all that my father-in-law has been dreadfully ill and is in hospital. He had a terrible fever so was tested for covid to start with. Thanks goodness that that test was negative. He needs to stay in hospital a while longer but is responding to treatment. Hopefully he’ll be better very soon. The kids keep asking how granddad is. We can only explain so much to them for fear of upset. You see he has dementia and is currently confused about where he is and why. My sister-in-law has (quite frankly) been awesome and taken in their stepmother to make sure she’s not isolated in all this. She’s phoning my husband regularly with updates (which with the time difference isn’t always easy) and is still working her shifts as a key worker in Sainsbury’s.  y husband feels so far away from home right now. He knows he couldn’t do anything if he went back and he’d have to spend the first two weeks in a hotel room anyway. After that he wouldn’t be allowed re-entry into Japan (because he’s not a Japanese national) until the travel restrictions are lifted. My sister offered to drive the two hours to go over and help if it was needed. She said hubby needed to just say and she’d go. My wonderful hubby is so stressed and distracted and I can do nothing to help him become less so.

Due to all this I thought about cancelling today. I felt I didn’t have the right to a day off when my husband had been through so much these last two weeks. He told me that wasn’t the deal and I was to go. I’ve had the kids at home since the beginning of March and I’m knackered. I was on the point of neglecting them for the sake of sitting down before fell down. So, as hubby-mine put it: “I’m still taking the day off, for my mental health as much as yours.” He’s jointing me for a coffee soon. We’ve fobbed the two small ones off on a play date and are having some grownup time with the big girl.

So I’ve had a nap (albeit on the beauty salons table), lunch in a luscious garden listening to the Scummy Mummies podcast, done a little shopping (including a head massager for my stressed man), drank a little rosé and am now writing this. It’s a relief to know about the job. One way or another we wanted to know where we’d be living for the next few months. It was unsettling but that side of things is sorted for now.

Meanwhile life goes on. The little one has returned to school for a couple of his a day to ease them back in. The bigger two are still online schooling. The paddling pool is set up and we’re enjoy the warmer weather before it gets too hot and we all melt! Our flight to the U.K. this summer was cancelled so ere now definitely looking for summer holiday alternatives. I’m look a dream location at the moment with blue sea, white sand and a private pool with a bar. There are some fo those in Japan but they do cost a lot. I can dream, can’t I?

Meanwhile please enjoy some more pictures fo that garden I visited. Oh and this hummingbird hawk-moth. Fascinating little creature.